If you’d ever wondered where the real inspiration for Jack and the Beanstalk came from, then can I suggest you buy yourself a climbing rose which goes by the charming name of Mme Alfred Carriere. I’d love to know why it was ever named thus – perhaps the poor woman was some sort of circus freak or she had done something to upset the hybridiser. Let’s face it, whoever heard of a woman called Alfred? Whatever the reason for this unfortunate name, the result is a true floral monster which has caused me a lot of soul searching over recent weeks as I made the sad, but necessary, decision to cull two unfortunate specimens – one of which had ‘graced’ the wall of our Cottage for the last 10 years.
To be fair to my professional calling, I didn’t plant the rose in such a daft location; it was there when I arrived and the other was in the courtyard of a client who was having her life taken over by the rampaging Madamoiselle. Mine was adamant that it wanted to grow over the roof of the house and then take over the next door neighbour’s cottage, even though I cut it back severely three times a year. It’s most heinous and unforgiveable crime, however, was trying to strangle the life out of the Sky dish and disrupting my Sky Sports addiction!
Whilst I can see the logic behind planting lovely climbing roses against a cottage wall (the triffid was one of 5), the full ‘chocolate box’ effect can only be achieved by planting the right varieties and, even then, it takes a lot of hard work and attention. I had already had to remove a wisteria which, when combined with the rampant ‘Frenchie’, made life a complete misery. I foolishly thought that by giving one of them the ultimate horticultural ASBO the problem might be made reduced somewhat… all I succeeded in doing was providing more light and space for the Gallic fiend!!
Now, please don’t get the wrong message here – roses and wisteria look fabulous against a house wall – but be prepared for the regime of disciplined training, feeding and pruning that will inevitably be required. And also, to be fair to Mme Carriere, I did see a towering and splendid specimen against the front house wall at Renishaw Hall, which probably provides a very valuable lesson; before you splash out at the garden centre, have a look around and see what looks good and grows well in your area. I’m the world’s worst offender when it comes to knocking on people’s doors whenever I’m passing a garden and see a great combination of planting or a particularly good colour of a particular plant. This is especially true when it comes to ‘critical’ planting such as climbers or trees and shrubs which you would normally expect to be reasonably permanent fixtures in your garden.
You really must see these plants in the flesh rather than rely on a label in a pot at the garden centre – the cursory description of growth is rarely accurate. The original label on my now deceased plant which I discovered embedded in the trunk described it as having “Beautifully perfumed white flushed pink flowers” which I fully concur with – unfortunately, the label’s description of “medium growth” must have been dreamed up by Tony Blair…….!
Jonathan Wild
Garden Consultant and Rose Executioner!
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